As mentioned a few weeks back, I was to start working on my sewing room. Alas, busy schedules and pessimism got in the way. My mother, not in-tune with my apparent daily drama, threw the negativity to the way-side, and commanded that we get to work on my sewing room—aka our guest room, aka my mom's room—immediately. By day's end everything had moved, and after a trip to busy IKEA—thanks for not paying attention IKEA check-out person—below budget my sewing room is (almost) complete. It still needs some cleaning and tidying:
But, even though it wasn't ALL running around (OK, maybe it was) I did get to take my mom up to San Francisco to go to the exclusive Britex, and then I also took her to the discount fabric place. Amazing, beautiful textiles at Britex, but not so cheap. I found the exact houndstooth wool that I want, but at $70 a yard, on sale, I just can't justify it right now. That place is utterly overwhelming with the amount of great fabric they have, and even more astounding, the prices. $300 a yard remnant silk? Really? We left with only our still intact wallets in-hand. At the discount fabric place my mother observed the disparity between the two, noting that we have not one single great fabric store in the bay-area. Despite this, I found the most amazing purple and gold sequin fabric I have ever seen. I honestly never, ever, ever thought I would buy anything with sequins but this was just too fabulous to resist. On sale it was $32 a yard, and with only one yard left on the bold, I bought it. I have something in mind for it, and hope to turn it out quickly, even though it is not one of my Alexander McQueen looks.
After going back to San Francisco for a second time yesterday, for my sister's law-school drink-a-thon, I felt exhausted. I think that is why I was a sour cherry this morning. But I must say, that, even though I completed no actual sewing this weekend, I still feel like I accomplished a lot. Ramon has been amazingly generous over the past few months. Since I was a senior in high-school I have always been working. Upon graduating from college I did everything that I could to make sure that I was able to financially sustain myself, while having my own apartment. It is really hard to let-go of your independence, but it isn't as much of letting go as it is letting-in. Ramon and I have been living together for almost three years, and yet it is still hard for me to accept help. Though, if the tables were turned I would be doing the same thing for him, without question or doubt, and it would mean the world to me. So, now that Ramon has bought me a new sewing machine—yes, i did create a new website for his business, and Nicole bought the sewing machine for me, too—and he has bought me a new work-area, I am starting to let go—of, course only a little—of the guilt of contributing so much less than before, and opening up to the idea of really doing all of this together. How many men in the world would do what he does for me? It is time to take a step back and count my blessings.
I have been taking more steps to help other people recently, to continue the feelings that I have about what Ramon is doing for me. On Thursday, after leaving my hair appointment to correct my naturally not real color back to platinum, and no-roots, I stopped by a market to grab an apple to drive home with. As I was pulling out of the store's driveway, I saw a woman pulling her mother's wheel-chair out of the same market, and then her mother accidentally dropped her sunglasses case. I couldn't stop right then and there to say something, as there was traffic right behind me, so I spent the next 10 minutes driving around, parking the car, running back to get the case—only to notice it was hand-made, chasing them down the street and returning it. It just made me sad to think of the cute old lady not able to find her case, and upon seeing that it was hand-made, I realized that it probably held some significance to her. I am glad I could find them and return it. If I still had a job, would I have taken the time to do this?
On Friday Ramon and I took my sister and my mom to the Mountain Winery to see Cheap Trick, which, during the 80's was my mother's favorite bad. Two margaritas in, we had a really great time. After seeing Cyndi Lauper, Billy Idol, and Chris Issak there in August, Cheap Trick was the best show we saw this "summer." They have a very prevalent checker motif running throughout their gear and fan-wear. I had sort-of forgotten about it over the years, but upon seeing it, and hearing them live again I realized what a great visual texture it is. I am glad that I bought the tickets with my tax-refund while I still had a job, because it was worth every penny, and even better to share it with my Mom and sister who really, really enjoyed it. Alas, I didn't see any checkered wool at Britex, so I think that project, along with the budget, are going to have to wait for a while.
So, taking a cue from my checkered friends regarding my current situation an feeling at a lack of control:
"Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away."
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